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May 5, 2010

Ten sure fire ways to make sure paintball never grows...

Name your field "Hostile Fire."

Name your team "The Insane Baby Killers."

Pawn noobs.

Use a barrel cover that has "Eat my balls" printed on the side.

Expect nothing less than a full ride/team sponsorship from your local field owner.

Never invite a friend along.

Wear your tournament gear and pods while playing rec ball.

Dress like a commando while playing rec ball.

Give your son a ten foot head start in the backyard before you show him what getting hit feels like.

I bet you can think of a tenth one...

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Caleb May 5, 2010, 8:39:00 AM  

10. Make sure you always wipe instead of calling yourself out.

11. Vandalize and litter when your at the field.

12. Bonus ball people, especially noobs.

13. Talk trash about paintball fields and other teams on forums.

14. Steal peoples equipment at the field.

My favorite sure fire way you have listed is the "Full Ride" sponsorship. My site comes up on Google for all sorts of paintball sponsorship searches, so I get bombarded with requests. It amazes me that this country still has literate people in it. The "net talk" run on sentences are just amazing.
"you nned 2 giv us gunz an stuf cuz we nvr ben beet wer teh best in are airea we not entrd any tornemnts but we gona if u giv us stuf an we ware ur nam on al are stuf my lil bro plas wit us 2 an he ril gud so giv us stuf k git bak 2 me"

mick May 5, 2010, 1:20:00 PM  

Amazing...and all so true.

Richelle Shattell May 5, 2010, 2:53:00 PM  

Side note: Yikes@Caleb's request example--imagine being a poor teacher these days getting homework turned in like that. Probably good that I'm not a teacher, I'd be smacking kids up side the head!

Anyway, back to topic...

I'm guilty of one of those Mick listed--I wear rec gear (Smart Parts jersey/Dye pants) while playing woodsball, haha. Perhaps I should ask Santa this year for some camoflauge. And, maybe that's why I'm having so much trouble recruiting new players on to the field. :D

mick May 5, 2010, 3:52:00 PM  

Yes, Richelle, it's a fine line separating paintball style and function. Wearing tourney clothes can intimidate the newer folks. But then again, so does camo in the woods. Who knows... I doubt paintballing naked will ever catch on!

Danny May 5, 2010, 6:51:00 PM  

15. Allow Red Paint.
16. Allow players to use their own paint.
17. Don't help the noobs have fun playing.

andban70 May 6, 2010, 12:25:00 PM  

allowing players to use their OWN CHOSEN paint, doesn't take away from the fun, but adds to it, as far as i've seen.

mick May 6, 2010, 1:25:00 PM  

Not sure which way you are going with that one andban70. Are you saying not allowing players to bring their own paint is hurting paintball? You will find nearly every field owner disagree.

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