Here's your sign...

What would posses someone to lift up "CAUTION" tape so they could get around it? Or pass three "CLOSED" signs and bang on the Pro-Shop door wanting in? I use to have a 2 foot by 6 foot sign hanging over the table where you turn in equipment that said "TURN IN HERE". People would stand under it and ask, "Where do I turn in my stuff?" There was a sign near our register explaining why running a credit card for a $3 dollar air fill cost me more than the $3 but people still complained about the service charge I needed to charge. The table people lean across to shoot at the range says "MASK ON". But I wouldn't dare send anyone there without a ref tagging along.

I have signs that direct. I have signs that explain. I have signs that caution. I even have signs that poke fun. What I don't have are signs that say "READ THE SIGNS" and what is clear is you just can't put up enough signs. Go on. Tell me...! What very important request is written at the bottom of the "WELCOME" sign?

Folks ask me when I'm going to get a real sign put up at the entrance to T-Square (I take that to mean a more "professional" sign since there is one there). They don't know whether or not to take me serious when I say, "Why the heck would I want anyone to know where I am."

Seriously. Do I really need another sign?

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Hello? Is that you?

It has come to my attention that some people check in here regularly to see if the mean and grumpy paintball field owner has said something so outrageous, or stupid or insulting as to completely embarrass himself. Maybe to see if he has stepped on "it" or in "it". Put his foot in his mouth, so to speak.

Well... Move along. You missed it.

I apologized. I deleted the post. Now let's move on.

Stay alert people. If you snooze around here you lose!

Peace! Out!

(And to MB who stops by to check for grammar and spelling..I sincerely thank you!!)

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It's hunting season...

Imagine that big buck, your rifle drawn, a perfect site picture looking down fixed sites or a close up, cross-haired view through a high powered scope. Breath control...squeeze, don�t yank the trigger, careful...

"HEY! Who the heck shot me in the back?"

Another lesson in why experienced paintballers do NOT use sites or scopes.

You have time to use sites or scopes when hunting. Deer and squirrel and ducks don't shoot back. If they did they would send a buddy around your flank and take you out while all your attention and time was focused in one spot.

Experienced rec ball players keep their head moving, their eyes moving - they pay attention to the big picture and direct their paintballs rather than aim them. (Tournament players play in a similar fashion only they direct cases of paint, grenade style, in little 24 ball per second bursts!)

Experienced paintballers know that sites and scopes are for aiming bullets. Bullets are shaped like bullets so they will fly straight. Paintballs are shaped round (coincidentally the same shape a curve ball starts out life as) because it is to expensive to make them bullet shaped. Trying to aim a paintball is like trying to aim a water balloon. All you can hope for, and realistically all you should hope for, is to get your target wet!

I don't hunt animals, by the way. I would consider it if we could equip them all with paintball markers and the ability to use them. Rambo Rabbit armed with a Tippmann. Now that would be a challenge!

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Disgruntled customers...

Disgruntled customers make a lot of different noises. The sound of SQUEALING TIRES is one I've keyed on lately. It happens at least once a week and already three times this week!

The field and store hours are on T2 brochures. The field and store hours are on the T2 phone message service. The field and store hours are posted on our T2 Welcome board. And for the folks that walk past the posted hours on the fence near the entrance and then stand outside the Pro-Shop beating on the door - the field and store hours are displayed in the window near the front door of the Pro-Shop.

I suppose if I drove all the way from Benton or Maumelle to get a CO2 tank filled, only to find the shop closed, I might be a little pissed too - at myself. It's been along time since I've taken out my frustrations on vehicle tires, maybe 35 years ago, when I was 17, in my Dad's truck!

I'm closed Monday and Tuesday, people. Get over it!

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Propane and propane accessories...

Tippmann has a new paintball marker that is powered by propane. No CO2. No high pressure air or nitrogen. And 50,000 shots off a 16 ounce tank ($2.93 at your local Lowes)! Hank Hill must be so proud. And with Hank happy how could anyone be mean or grumpy?

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Visions of Grandeur...

If I were president...

I think I would have to look hard at the decision to give the International Fertilizer Development Center in Alabama $1,700,000 for, �teaching underdeveloped nations how to wisely use fertilizer."

Or how about: Greyhound Lines, Inc. received bus security grants totaling $1,603,084. Approximately 22 million passengers ride Greyhound annually, meaning that if each passenger paid an extra 7 cents they could have paid for their own damn on board video cameras!

And what about Alaska getting $11,000,000 for sales preparation, maintenance, and pre-commercial thinning of the Tongass National Forest. ELEVEN MILLION tax payer dollars TO PREPARE forest timber to sell to commercial loggers. (Hey fella, that steak I just cooked for you...want me to cut it for you, too?)

But, more importantly,

If I were King of Paintball...

I would have to find a way to run these guys out of town:

Effective October 1st, VirtuePaintball.com, will discontinue web-sales of the entire Speedy series (software that "enhances" the operation of your electronic paintball gun). The Speedy software attracted a lot of attention last year, when the NPPL banned it for being so effective (read here "so effective at concealing it's cheating modes") that not even "the Robot" could catch it. (Not exactly the kind of attention I would want my product to receive!!)

"The whole purpose of the Speedy software was to be an equalizer for the players and teams who did not have the 'hook-up' from gun manufacturers to get 'cheater codes' in their guns. We were tired of seeing good teams get cheated out of winning just because they didn't know the right guy." (Great concept - a company that helps players cheat who don't have a way to cheat the cheaters! I don't suppose these guys were "so tired of seeing good teams get cheated" that they passed out these cheater boards for free.)

Now the Virtue Cyborg board has arrived. Get the best upgrade in paintball featuring superior trigger logic, enhanced eye logic, fully adjustable ramping, and virtually unlimited firing modes. (You say potato. I say potahto. Speedy software or Virtue board it's all the same. I can't find much virtue in simply changing the product name of your CHEATER BOARD in an attempt to misdirect the fact that the last one was BANNED!!)

By the way, you can find literally thousands of examples of the curious ways the government spends YOUR money at http://www.cagw.org

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**WARNING** Adult Content

Okay, so maybe it's not all that. But it is paintball related. Seriously! Just don't ask me how or where I found this and try not to stop reading till you reach the end!

>>Holland Gets Prickly Over Park Sex...
9/13/2005 6:56:48

Park rangers in Holland have a new strategy to dissuade couples from getting randy in Het Twiske Park, outside of Amsterdam: nettles and thistles. According to the UK's More magazine, the park is fed up with people using their nature preserve for sexual escapades. Says Het Twiske's head park ranger of the perpetrators, "They are very difficult to catch because they warn each other with mobile phones when they hear us approaching." Rangers have planned to cut back bushes and replace them with thistles and nettles in an attempt to make things more abrasive for lovers. A plan is also in the works to turn popular areas into paintball ranges.<< Sure. As guess as long as they wear masks!

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