Here's to the important stuff...

Hey, you need to chrono your gun.

"I don't know how."

Your dwell needs to be reset.

"What's that?"

What kind of lubricant are you using?

"Lubricant?"

You need to clean your gun.

"How."

Is your input pressure correct?

"Dunno."

You might want to turn your reg up just a bit."

"Reg?"

Is there anything you do know about your gun?

"It shoots 28 balls per second"

Game on!

(just a reminder...the comment option is turned OFF but email is welcome - tsp8ntball@aol.com)

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SOLD....to the bravest bidder!

Ebay amazes me. Not so much for the "great" deals but more the people. It's a place where ordinary folks take on the personae of 5th Avenue Advertising Executives. Consider some of these Ebay gems:

"This gun is magnificent."

(Wow!)

"Destroy all your friends with this amazing marker."

(Probably selling it 'cause he ran out of friends.)

"Works like a charm."

(Just how does a charm work? Seriously?)

"Marker comes with tons of extras.:

(Man, shipping cost is going to be a killer.)

"They (autocockers) are considered the BMW of the industry."

(Really? Not a Ford or Chrysler?)

"It (Spyder X-tra) has a refined appearance that suggests that it is a well made."

(Tailor made, perhaps?)

And from the same auction listing: "At first glance, the Xtra looks good on the field."

(How 'bout the second glance??)

And here is a classic. I see this way too many times. See if you can guess by this discription why the seller may be wanting out of paintball. Maybe it's just a typo. More likely it's a Feudian slip:

"Up for auction is an awesome setup for any one that loves painballing."

I also like some of the amazing claims:

"THIS GUN IS GREAT IT CAN SHOOT UP TO 13 PAINT BALL'S AT A TIME"

(Man, I've heard of 13 balls per second but 13 at one time? Wow!)

And then I have to wonder why some people even buy paintball guns:

"never used"

"hasn't been used much"

"used it about 4 times"

And my favorite:

"Basicly brand new only used a couple time." Followed later in the same listing for the same item with: "its only been used 4 times."

It's a caveat emptor world out there folks!

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Quick quiz...

Which one of these is NOT the name of a paintball retailer?

Murder Inc., Paintball
Punisher Paintball
Violent Products
Bad Habitz
Vendetta Paintball
Maddman Products

Yeah. You guessed it. All of them are names of paintball retailers. No wonder Mom prefers to buy her kids paintball stuff at Wal-Mart rather than seek out a local pro-shop.

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It's a "game"!

Don't think because I haven't posted in a while that T-Square Paintball hasn't had it's share of odd calls, strange events and frustrating technical moments over the past few weeks.

Fortunately, life sometimes gets in the way of paintball. I say fortunately because I know what it's like to be consumed by one thing for hours and days and weeks and months and years at a time and I'm here to tell you it's not pretty.

Canoeing on the Buffalo, fishing on the Red. Down time with the Granddaughter. Getting the garden ready and volunteering at the VA. It's not all paintball, paintball, paintball, blog, blog, blog around here you know!

I've seen way to many players come out week after week, claiming paintball is now their life, only to have them burn out and never come back. If I had my choice I'd rather see a player once every couple of months for the next tens years rather that eight weekends in a row and then never again.

If my field manager has heard me say it once she has heard me say it a thousand times - Paintball is a lot of fun, as long as you don't take it too seriously... or in overly large doses.

Play safe. Have fun.

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Hello! Hello! Is this thing on?

There's a part in our video taped safety briefing where I say, "Look before you shoot. Don't shoot at someone who has their gun in the air, don't shoot blind and do not shoot at your team mates."

I always expect a few laughs and snickers from the new players. I guess the thought of shooting your own team mate in the back of the head is kind of funny.

Next on the tape I say, "And here's one we don't joke or laugh about - Do not shoot at your referees."

Yeah, you guessed it. They laugh at that part of the tape, too.

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