Version three (the last, I promise)...

There is a word being whispered in the quiet corners of paintball's corporate world, behind closed, guarded doors, by small groups of fretful executives.

The word is, 'recession'!

Corporate paintball took a hit this year. And in typical fashion corporate paintball stood around wondering who farted while standing knee deep in their own poo.

I confess. I'm the reason for paintball's recession and here's why.

I've been driving away customers. Cash carrying, credit card not quite maxed out, check bouncing, who cares about the 25 dollar service charge, want to buy it now, customers.

I talk customers out of buying 21 inch sniper barrels. I refuse to make my shop look like a military arsenal. I don't stock or sell mil-sim gear. I refuse to ask anyone if they want a Stiffi (a barrel) or suggest they "Smoke the Pipe" (a barrel kit)!

When someone comes in wanting a cheap paintball gun I tell them I don't sell cheap stuff. When they ask for an electronic marker (hoping to see something they saw advertised for around a hundred bucks) I show them a $2000 (don't forget the air and feed system and plumbing) tournament gun and tell them any other electronic gun is a cheap, unreliable knock-off.

I don't stock delrin bolts for blow backs, dog leg stocks, CO2 regulators, paint named Bite, Tear or Rip, $79 jerseys, DVD's featuring four letter words I'VE never heard or packs that carry 1200 paintballs.

I don't sell anything from a company that calls itself Evil or from a company that claims its competition's paint has the runs! I don't stock paintball video games that have cheater modes or cheater boards for guns.

You might wonder how I stay in business. I admit to having a few questionable, high profit doodads and frou-frous on the display counter (frou-frous - that's a fancy Bulgarian word for knick knacks)! I'll never understand the fanatical attraction players have for barrels that apply a floating backspin to a paintball or why shaking a gravity feed hopper is such a revolting anachronism. And stocks? They seem a bit redundant (and heavy and awkward and expensive) considering the tank fits most shoulders like a stock. But, hey. I got bills to pay so I sell a few bent barrels and agitating hoppers and awkward fitting stocks.

But I can't seem to make myself sell a $100 mask when I know a $29 one works fine. Just as I can't sell a rec ball player a $299 high end marker that needs another $450 worth of Bulgarian knick knacks before it will work right. Especially when I know a complete $150 package is available that will shoot as straight and as fast and reliable as anything out there.

And for that I apologize to the industry...

with no apologies to my customers.