Chit chat…

I've noticed an odd trend lately. Not just over the past couple of days or weeks, but for the past couple of months.

The phone will ring here at the shop and I'll pick it up and while I'm going through my usually greeting - "Good Afternoon. T-Square Paintball" - quite often there will be chatter on the other end of the line.

A Mom talking with her Son or a Son talking to Dad or a Dad talking to a co-worker. Sometimes it's rather revealing;

"...and will you sit down and shut up and I'll ask him."

or

"I'm playing today. I don't care what you say because..."

or

"...yeah and did you see the size of her..."

and it's always annoying.

One of my "favorites" is the committee call. That's when a group of kids elect one kid to make the call and before I can even get my greeting out I hear them arguing over what question to ask first.

Maybe it's just me. When I make a call I'm listening to make sure I dialed the right number.

Happy New Year to one and all!

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ummmm......

Message on my answering machine this morning:

"Hello? Your machine says the field is not open today. I have 8 little boys that want to play. We will be there around 1:00. Call 962-xxxx if there are any questions! Thanks!"

Questions? Me?

Merry Christmas, all. And Happy Holidays, too!

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Who would have guessed...

I've been picked as Time Magazines "Person of The Year". How cool is that?

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PLEASE NOTE…

Folks. I am NOT responsible for the directions given to T-Square Paintball by "Mapquest" or "Tom-Tom" or "Garmin" or any other online map service or GPS unit. They are confusing, misleading and most times wrong. If the "Directions" link on our web page doesn't help then please call.

And if you do call, please don't argue with my directions. If you say, "...but "Mapquest" or "Tom-Tom" or "Garmin" says we should take this exit and go down this road and take this street" my response will most likely be, "And you called me why?"

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Paintball characters…

As cranky and as grumpy as I may get at times it's actually true that not many people really tick me off. There are a few types. Fortunately just a few. Dads that hog the field during an eleven year old birthday party bug me but don't really tick me off. Having to tell someone more than twice to keep their mask on will irritate me and hearing a wannabe pro player explain something to a newby that is totally wrong frustrates me. But none of these examples tick me off.

One that really, really, really does TICK me off is someone I'll call BMOF.

The BMOF or "Big Man On the Field" is the guy who calls to reserve a group and stops by the pro-shop a few days ahead wanting to buy the biggest and baddest paintball marker ever made - money is no object.

Makes me wonder what kind of party host he is. "Here. You guys eat hotdogs while I munch on this lobster.

"Imagine getting invited to his house for an ass kicking contest. "You guys get to wear sneakers and have your legs tied together. Never mind my steel toed boots."

Or going over for a friendly game of cards. "You can play but you better not beat me and my stacked deck."

What level of rudeness and arrogance do you have to reach before you are considered a jerk?

The usual justification for needing a "bigger" and "badder" gun goes something like, "I'm the boss. They will all be shooting at me."

Hmmmm... is it JUST because you're the boss?

BMOF's can be fun. They usually expect to be treated different. I go out of my way to treat them the same. I especially enjoy when they show up at the field with a $1200 tournament gun and ask me how to turn it on. I tell them I have no idea and hand them a rental.

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All in a day…

Every now and then a customer will exit the Pro-Shop leaving me and my store manager staring at each other with our mouths open."

"He wanted us to do WHAT to his gun!"

"Did she seriously want to make field reservations for a group of pre-schoolers?"

"Did he really say that?"

It happens two or three times a week.

This time, it left us with some suprise.

A man came in looking for upgrades and maybe a gun for his friend. He and a group play backyard ball. During his look around he related a number of backyard stories that included bruises, shots to the neck, paint chips going through a mask cutting his girlfriend's lip and other typical tales of paintball mayhem and destruction that always sound a little short of safety when coming from a backyard point of view.

Usually it's me that asks but because of some high blood pressure issues I've really been trying to step away from the Pulpit of Perpetual Paintball Preaching and fore go the usual, "How fast are you guys shooting?"

The question with it's usual, "I dunno" response is a set up that leads to my chastising the player for playing hot and then explaining the importance of a chronograph - even in backyards.

Stephanie beat me to it (probably to cut me off so she could give her toned down version of my sermon) and asked the question herself.

His response caught us totally off guard. "We have a chronograph and set our markers at 280 feet per second."

Our blank stare and sudden silence must have uneased him. "That's okay, right? 280 feet per second?"

"Ummm...OH. Yeah. That's good," I managed to say.

When he left Stephanie and I just looked at each other and shrugged our shoulders.

"That's a first," I told her."

"Yeah. No kidding! Backyard players with a chronograph!"

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Great minds…

Tyger ("Views from a paintball cynic" - http://tygerpb.blogspot.com/) has a dead on accurate rant about purchasing paintball talent. I would have hit on the subject sooner or later but I doubt I could make the point any clearer. You will have to scroll down to his 11.21.06 blog entry since I have no idea how to link directly to the entry. He includes some great paintball/video game correlations, too. Check it out!

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Christmas lights…

I don't like electronic, sear tripping, rec-ball guns. I think I've made that redundantly clear. So don't be surprised, when you bring an aftermarket, electronic, thing-a-ma-jig for me to install if I get a little mean and grumpy.

A good example is the electronic trigger assembly you can buy for the Tippmann 98 or A5. Number one it's a pain in the behind to install. Number two it turns a perfectly good paintball gun into a marginally effective one and number three - the operating instructions read like the start up sequence instructions for a Saturn V rocket.

There's the matter of polarity. And then the boot up sequence.

And the lights.

There's a red one, a blinking red one, a blinking green one, a solid green one, an orange one. And then there's the alternating green/orange light and the alternating green/red light. All to indicate operating modes to include Semi, PSP, NXL, Auto response and of course, Turbo! And let's not forget the flashing red/green/orange light. It's a program verification indicator.

The DWELL can be set in increments of 1/1000th of a second. I'm sure that's pretty crucial when pinned down in a pallet bunker on the Fort Field! Among the 33 lines of text that explain how to adjust the DEBOUNCE setting you'll find this little gem - "When LED comes back on count the number of green flashes to determine the current setting and once the LED stops flashing you have 5 seconds to begin pulling and releasing the trigger once for every FULL 1 millisecond of time you want the DEBOUNCE to be."

ROF adjustment instructions are just as, ummm... clear!

Need something electronic hooked up to your perfectly running mechanical rec-ball gun? Look for me down at the fishing hole. I'm the one using the cane pole and cork bobber!

Happy Holidays to all!

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It’s all fun and games till…

Question for backyard players:

Do you know how fast your "friends" are shooting at you?

I would NEVER consider playing with anyone that has not had their gun chronographed.

Getting hit by a paintball at over 300 feet per second can cause permanent scars. It can also punch a hole through a mask. Not to mention the damage it can do to your marker.

I have a hopper that I keep on my work bench. It has a hole punched through it from a "hot" paintball. A human skull is about the same thickness as the hopper.

At T-Square we chrono every rental gun and every personal gun at the start of every game day. We also play at 280 feet per second or below.

So, just how fast are your friends shooting at you? Mom, how fast is your child's friend shooting at him? Dad, how fast are you shooting at your son?

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Ummmmmmm…

From the forum at PBNation http://www.pbnation.com/

(quote) ok,a good friend of mine which is a very new to the sport thought co2 tanks[with valves etc] thought that once u use all the co2 out of it u throw them away,he said he spent about 135.00 on co2 tanks[my field sells them for 20.00 each filled].im posting here to make sure no one else makes his mistake. (end quote)

Ok, so it would be really tempting to make fun of this guy's friend. Count to ten, take a big breath and say to yourself, "Newbies are good, newbies are cool, newbies are the future of paintball"!

Play ball!

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Epiphany…

There is a cartoon being shown during commercial breaks during the Smart Part "World Championship Tourney" (ESPN Fridays at 4pm - set your Tivo!).

In it Smart Parts gives a teasing cartoon glimpse of a new gun they are putting out. It's called "Epiphany" and will fall somewhere between the ION and the Shocker. It's not a Nerve - actually more like the Impulse and should sell at around the $400 range.

Smart Parts - love 'em or hate 'em. They are always coming up with something.

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Bounce, bounce, bounce…

No. Not bouncing paintballs.

Some businesses, when they receive a bad check, use civil services like "Checkserve" or "Check Collect" to harass the bad check writer.

Not me.

I go directly to the Prosecuting Attorney (Arkansas 6th Judicial District) and file a warrant for the bad check writer's arrest.

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The game…

Paintball is a game of skill. It's also a game of honesty and integrity.

When you are "hit" you call yourself out.

Imagine if ball players were responsible for calling their own balls and strikes or football players were left to determine on their own if they stepped out of bounds. How about race car drivers counting their own laps? Paintball is one of the very few games that place nearly all the responsibility for the games direction and order on the player.

Sure there are referees on the paintball field, but usually no more than 1 or 2 who are mainly concerned for the safety of a dozen or more players. When you are all alone in a bunker and spot that quarter size splotch of paint on your leg it's real tempting to just reach down and wipe it off. Or when hit on the back; did it bounce or break? And if it broke is it a quarter size hit? Awww, who cares. Keep playing. It's "just a game".

Fortunately most players, because it really is "just a game" will call themselves out or ask a referee for a paintcheck. They don't consider the walk back to the safe zone as a walk of shame. Instead they show off their hits and consider them front line "badges of honor". Little white or pink or blue reminders that it is just a game.

Play safe. Play fun. Play fair.

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Hello! Hello? Jacksonville?

My field manager took this phone call Sunday...

manager: Hello. T-Square Paintball.

caller: Yeah could you help me with directions?

manager: Sure. Where are you located?

caller: I'm in the Walmart parking lot in Jacksonville.

manager: Oh. No problem... (she starts giving directions)

caller: (interrupting) That doesn't sound right. I think you have the wrong Walmart.

manager: Sir. There is only one Walmart in Jacksonville.

caller: No. There's two. I'm in the Walmart parking lot off of Beach Street.

manager: Ummmm... Sir, there is no Beach Street in Jacksonville.

caller: Sure there is. I'm looking at the street sign.

manager: Beach Street? (and then being the smart girl she is she asks) Sir. Where did you say you were calling from?

caller: (irratated) The Walmart parking lot. Beach Street. In Jacksonville!

manager: What state are you calling from?

caller: Florida. I'm in the Walmart parking lot on Beach Street in Jacksonville, Florida.

manager: Sir. You called T-Square Paintball in Jacksonville, ARKANSAS!!!

caller: Oh.And he hung up before we could figure out how he could have possibly gotten the area codes so crossed up!

Again... we don't make this stuff up, folks! Don't even ask about the couple of times my Pro-shop orders arrived with sand in them!

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New Tippmanns…

Has Tippmann lost their mind? Or is this one of the most ingenious marketing ploys ever devised by a paintball manufacturer?

For years the industry has made it a point to mark every marker with "THIS IS NOT A TOY" prominently on every marker sold.

While "THIS IS NOT A TOY" will most likely be marked on this marker perhaps Tippmann figures making it LOOK like a toy will make it pass the MOM seal of approval, therefore increasing sales to the pre-pubescent market. Does a rose by any other name not smell as sweet? Does a paintball marker that looks like a toy not put out an eye just the same?

What do you think?

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Your Monday/Tuesday is my Saturday/Sunday…

I have a small pro-shop where I try to keep a small base of customers supplied with only the best paintball products I can find. I can't afford to stock everything paintball (there are many products that I refuse to stock). Sometimes I have to remind customers that I don't have the FORD/VOLVO item they want because I'm a CHEVY/TOYOTA dealer. I would like to be able to please everyone but when it comes to stocking my shelves I have a budget (and morals) to stick to and I try to spread it out to include a little bit of something for everyone.

I got an e-mail from one of my suppliers today telling me I have to spend a $1000 on their new product kit before I will be allowed to sell their new product. I got a little grumpy.

It's not the thousand dollars. I spend that each week on product anyway. But to be TOLD where and how I must spend my money for the PRIVILEGE of selling a particular brand really put a twist in my knickers. I fired off my own e-mail which was answered by a phone call from the supplier that I cut short because I wasn't in the mood to be "stroked"!

I can be pretty stubborn. I continue to miss out on a lot of profit by refusing to sell the ION. I refuse to work (without pay) as an ION maintenance tech - having to fix and then fix and then fix again their cheaply designed product. Somewhere I got the idea that suppliers work for me. As long as I'm paying my own salary I will not be told where I have to direct my hard earned pro-shop budget.

Don't look for any Kingman VS products on my pro-shop wall anytime soon.

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…I’m no Superman…

I once knew a man who claimed if given enough time and enough duct-tape, bailing wire and C-4 he could fix anything. Right about the time I start feeling that way someone will bring something in the shop that no amount of prying, twisting, banging, cutting, grinding, sanding, clamping, taping or cajoling can fix.

Today it was a customer's leaking ASA port adaptor. In an attempt to fix it someone used epoxy glue to seal it together. I just didn't have the time (or a blow torch handy) to mess with it.

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Confessions…

I have to admit to doing something I know, as a field owner and referee I shouldn't do OR have to admit to! When I get hit while reffing my first reaction is to cuss!

Nothing vulgar mind you. Usually something under my breath along the line of, "Son of a Bit@ch" or D*mn it"! Blame it on my questionable upbringing or lack of education. I can't help it.

For what it's worth it's never directed at anyone in particular though the offending shooter might think otherwise since the misguided superlative is usually followed by an ugly glare in his direction.

I'm actually reprimanding myself for getting in the line of fire or for allowing my attention to be diverted away from the action.

It's not very becoming I'll admit. Allow me to beg for your forgiveness in advance.

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Watch those inspection dates…

There are a lot of "good deals" to be found on CO2 tanks. Problem is, folks buy them from E-Bay or from discounters or from a friend and then find out we can't fill them because they are past due their inspection date. Most times the seller is not aware. Sometimes the seller doesn't care. Sometimes the buyer will argue with us, telling us "so-and-so" filled them and we have to answer back that so-and-so is risking a $25,000 fine and five years in jail.

Almost every metal CO2 tank has a date stamped on them. If it is one of the few that doesn't then it is exempt from inspection. If you're not sure where to find the date we will be glad to show you. The past due date is 5 years past the stamped date.

The same is true for high pressure tanks only some of them are 3 year tanks.

As always - buyer beware. Discounters love to pick up tanks that are cheap due to them being close to their past due date and then pass them on to you at a "great price"! Some sellers drag old equipment out of the closet and sell it unaware or with no concern for the past due date.

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Quick Quiz…

All else being equal which paintball will travel further - one traveling at 280 feet per second when it leaves an eight inch barrel or one traveling 280 feet per second from a twenty-one inch barrel? For bonus points tell me which one will be the most accurate!

I have two entries in the Paintball Shirt contest. Here's your chance to rip me off for a T-Shirt! You all know how often I GIVE stuff away!!

UPDATE: The results are in. I didn't have enough entries to make it official but I'm gonna go ahead and declare "Greenflea" the winner with "PAINTBALL - THE ORIGINAL X-GAME"! Look for his shirt in the Shirt store soon. Be sure to pick one up so Greenflea can make a few dollars and maybe get back into paintball!

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Design a T-Shirt…

Win a Paintball T-Shirt that you design.

E-Mail me your best original paintball saying or phrase and if I judge your entry as the best I'll put it on a t-shirt and send it to you FREE! Words only - no art work except for your choice of the following logos:

"Crosshairs", "Bio-hazard symbol", "Bobbaskull" or No Logo.

The only rule I can think of at this time is KEEP IT CLEAN AND NON-OFFENSIVE! To sweeten the deal I'll put the winning entry in the Paintball T-Shirt Store and YOU will profit from each sale!

Contest will run through August or until I have TWELVE ENTRIES. So enter as soon as you can. One entry per person. Must have at least 6 entries, so tell your friends! Send your ideas to tsp8ntball@aol.com with "T-Shirt contest" subject line. Contest void where prohibited by law.

To the others that entered, thank you - keep your ideas handy. I'll probably do this again

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Are scenario big games too big…?

This has been a summer of record breaking attendance in the paintball world of Scenarios and Big Games. Over 3700 players at the Oklahoma "D-Day" event and over 4000 at Skirmish USA in Pennsylvania. Many smaller Big Games all across the country are also showing an increase in attendance. These are "MUST" attend events for some players while others are not so sure (see the article in the Oct 06 APG titled "What Refs Shouldn't Be"). Here is a chance to sound off in a poll. What do you think about the extreme attendance?

Here are the results of our first T-Square Paintpoll.

Are scenario games too big?

Yes, too big! 36%

I think they are just right. 43%

No, make them bigger 21%

Don't care. 0%

Thanks to all of you who took the time to sound off.

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KABOOOOOM…!

A young man came into the Pro-Shop today with a bag containing 4 CO2 tanks that needed filling. When I reached into the bag to pull out the tanks I burned my fingers. That's how hot they were - I assume from being stored in a vehicle. GRRRRRRRRRRR!!

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You can’t make this stuff up…

Screwdriver Loaded Into Paintball Gun Kills BoyPOSTED: 7:02 am MDT June 27, 2006UPDATED: 7:53 am MDT

June 28, 2006KFOX news El PasoJune 27, 2006 -- A 9-year-old Central El Paso boy has died after suffering serious injuries in a freak paintball gun accident.El Paso police responded late Monday to a house on Tularosa Street after reports that a paintball gun loaded with a screwdriver was fired at the young boy.

"It did strike him in the eye area. He did receive a very serious injury from it. He was in critical condition from last night, under went emergency eye treatment and he passed away this afternoon," said Javier Sambrano of the El Paso Police Department.Police said 9-year-old Matthew Holguin was playing in the backyard with his older cousins.

"The older cousins are all adults so he was in the back with them," Sambrano said.El Paso Police say 23-year-old Christen Sifuentes loaded the screwdriver into the gun and 21-year-old Filiberto Soto shot the gun at the boy.

Tuesday evening El Paso police arrested Sifuentes and Soto and charged them with injury to a child.One paintball gun owner says the screwdriver could have come out of the gun at 100-150 miles per hour, which is why he suggests anyone who plays with these high-pressure guns wear protective gear.

"Paintball masks are one of the biggest and most important tools and elements of the paintball game," said Ricky Navar, a paintball store owner.

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Me and my big mouth…

Oh my God, I just got banned from the forum at PBNation.com (Paintball Nation). I wrote a satirical post making fun of people who make fun of people on the forum. I guess they just don't appreciate the true literary talent of the mean and grumpy field owner. They accused me of instigating a flame war. Geeessh!

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Please…

Senior Killed In Crash After Teens Allegedly Shot Paintballs At Each Other Wednesday July 12, 2006 2:46pm Posted By: Kevin Kingaddendum:

The story is to long to post here but the gist is - after a fun day at a local Oklahoma paintball park a High School football team (about 40 people) headed home. On the way back, driving down the interstate, some players began fooling around shooting at each other. A van flipped over and one was killed and others hurt. As bad as the incident was I think the worst part was many of the football team witnessed the crash. No doubt that picture will be seared in the minds of the survivors for the rest of their lives.

Maybe the title of this post should read, "Why?"

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Never relax…

Just when I think I have every item concerning safety covered I have a player come up with something brand new.

There he was, sitting at a table in the Pro-Shop working on his electronic Spyder. No big deal. I have guys working on guns in the Pr0-Shop all the time. He's got the grip cover off and he's poking around the insides with something when suddenly the gun fires, sending the gun plug and the remnants of a paintball into the side of a counter.

Now, the gun was turned off mind you but I let him break the first rule of gun maintenance. NEVER WORK ON A GUN WITH CO2 OR HPA STILL ATTACHED. That's the number one NO-NO of all!

Turns out the "something" was a screwdriver. He shorted out something with the tip that made the gun go off. Now I have to make another sign: Don't poke around the insides of your electronic gun with a screwdriver!

I'd ask, "What's next?" but I really, really, really don't want to know!

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EBAY Blues…

Let's make a deal: When you buy something on Ebay that doesn't work don't get pissed at me because I CAN'T FIX IT...and I won't get pissed at you for BUYING IT THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE!

Remind yourself the next time you see a "good deal" on ebay;

Ebay is where people unload stuff THEY DON'T want.

Peace. Out!

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Day trippin…

I don't sell "sear trippers".

The term is a derogatory title given to electronic guns that use to be mechanical. Kingman did it to their Spyders, Tippmann did it to their guns, PMI to their Piranhas as did the double dozen other companies that have knocked off the basic "blow back' design.

The reason?

Actually there are two reasons.

Number one is they are not reliable.

Why? Grab a cold drink and get comfortable.

Imagine trying to run street tires on a race car. Think what might happen if you were to bolt a jet engine to a hang glider. How far would you get up a mountain if you used baling twine for climbing rope?

Street tires and hang gliders and baling twine are designed to do one thing. Race tires and jet engines and mountain climbing rope are designed to do another.

Mechanical guns are designed to do one thing. Electronic guns are designed to do another.

Street tires would tear apart on a race car. A hang glider would fold up and crash the moment you fired up its jet engine and baling twine would break if you tried to climb a mountain with it.

A mechanical gun will eventually self destruct if you try to run it at electronic speeds. And I don't mean eventually as in years from now!

Consider the workings of a mechanical gun. You pull the trigger that trips a sear that releases a very heavy hammer so it can move forward (under spring pressure) along with the bolt that is attached. The very heavy hammer hits a valve that releases CO2/HPA down the barrel to propel the paintball and releases CO2/HPA to push the very heavy hammer and bolt back so it can be caught by the sear.

Pull the trigger to release the sear and the very heavy hammer moves forward to start the process all over again.

Ok, so I didn't emphasize very heavy just to be cute. There's a point to be made here.

A mechanical gun is designed to allow that very heavy hammer to slap back and forth inside the body of the gun at a rate of 4 or 5 or 6 shots per second. Stick an electronic trigger on that same mechanical gun, make NO attempt to beef up the internals, let that very heavy hammer slap back and forth inside the body of that gun at a rate of 15 or 20 balls a second and you have, ummm, well...Sooner than later the grip frame screw begin to pull away from the body (destroying the threads), the sear and hammer (the most expensive parts of a mechanical gun) wear out faster than acceptable, the back of the gun around the field strip pin starts to deform, springs collapse, valves get smashed closed, electronic connectors tear loose - and I haven't even mentioned how many 9 volt batteries you will need to keep this beast fed!

When electrons flow from a battery through your IPod they don't (relatively speaking) get as stressed as the clectrons that flow from your battery and through a mechanical solenoid that trips the gun's sear. Think of it as electrons running through a rain storm versus electrons running against hurricane force winds. It takes more electrons to gather up enough strength to push through the wind.Mechanical guns turned into sear trippers eat batteries like popcorn!

So why don't tournament guns that shoot 15 or 20 or more balls a second fall apart and eat batteries?

Simple. They were designed from the git-go to shoot 15 or 20 or more balls a second and not eat batteries.

And a good electronic gun - a GOOD one (there are poorly designed, poorly made git-go electronic guns) will cost you between $600 to $1200 plus $200 for a proper high pressure system and another $100 for a hopper designed to keep up with gun's rate of fire. Not to mention maintenance cost (orings, lube) which triple due to the higher rate of wear and tear.

And did I mention earlier that there were two reasons I don't sell sear trippers?

Reason two:You don't need them to play (and have a good time) at T-Square.Hell, to keep the game safe, fun and fair for all levels of players you're only allowed to shoot 3 balls per second here. And that has to be done with a civilized pause between each set of three shots!

Bringing a sear tripper or $1600 tournament gun to T-Square is like bringing a Formula 1 car (or in the case of the sear tripper - a FAKE formula one car) to a go-kart track. It might sound cool at the shooting range but it's going to be kept on a tight leash on the field.

The only advantage to a higher priced sear tripper or an over priced tournament gun here at T-Square would be if pulling a mechanical trigger 3 times a second was to tough a physical challenge for you.

Save your money for paint!

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Ummmmmm…

I know of fields that make extra money by renting "upgraded" guns. I'm not sure I would want to take my kids to a go-kart track to race against a few customers who are driving formula one cars.(Especially against customers who would never dream of driving their formula one cars against other formula one drivers!!!)

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Barrel mathematics…

Okay class, pay attention:
REGARDING ACCURACY

BAD PAINT + CHEAP (STOCK) BARREL = POOR ACCURACY
BAD PAINT + EXPENSIVE BARREL = POOR ACCURACY
GOOD PAINT + CHEAP (STOCK) BARREL = BETTER ACCURACY
GOOD PAINT + EXPENSIVE BARREL = BETTER ACCURACY
GOOD PAINT + SKILLED SHOOTER + (LUCK)2 = GOOD ACCURACY

REGARDING RANGE (DISTANCE)

300 FPS + 8 INCH BARREL = DISTANCE X
300 FPS + 36 INCH BARREL = SAME DISTANCE X**

**assuming variable A (air temperature), variable B (humidity), variable C (barometric pressure), variable D (paint diameter, weight, shell and fill consistency), variable E (barrel cleanliness) and variable F (wind) are identical.

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Lost another barrel sale…

"Hey, I want to buy a paintball SNIPER barrel."

"Why?"

"Because I want to be able to pick off players with one shot at great distances!"

"Sorry. There's no such thing!"

"Sure there is. It's right here in this magazine!"

"Then buy it from the magazine."

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Back again. So what?

I started writing here because I thought it might be therapeutic. A way to let off steam. A chance to get past some of the nonsense.

Thursday afternoon the phone rings...Ring. Ring."Good afternoon, T-Square Paintball."

"Hi, I need to make a reservation for a group to come out to play paintball on Saturday."

"Oh, I'm sorry ma'am but we are booked solid this Saturday."

"How about early in the morning?"

"Sorry, ma'am. But we are booked solid."

"Do you have any openings later in the afternoon?"

"No, ma'am."

"But I all ready invited everyone. It's a birthday party for my son!"

"Sorry, ma'am. Can we set you up for another weekend?"

"No you can not set me up for another weekend. You can check your calendar and find me a time for this Saturday!"

"Ok. Let me check.... Nope, nothing open this Saturday."

"What kind of stupid place are you running out there?"

CLICK!

Another happy customer......!

And then there's Saturday morning, 10:30, an hour and a half before we open. A lady and 6 kids are outside banging on the Pro-Shop door.

"Hello! HELLO! I brought some kids that want to play."

"Sorry, ma'am. We're not open yet."

"But we're here. Can they start early?"

"Ma'am we are not ready yet. My refs are still setting up the field and equipment."

"Still setting up? Well you need to get some competent workers."

(My field manager almost went over the counter after her!)

Another day in paradise!

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Just another day…

Can't seem to think of a "mean" or "grumpy" thing to mention regarding the last few weeks.

The ice storm shut us down (with payroll and end of month bills coming due) and straight line winds busted a couple of net poles and wrecked a couple of tarp shelters. Pipes froze, the tractor broke down and somehow a screw found it's way into the left rear tire of my truck. Caught a couple of kids in the parking lot shooting at (and hitting) a passing car. Another was caught busting his way through the sheetrock walls of our bathroom because he "thought" he had locked himself in. I let myself get all excited when I finally received a new and much needed high pressure fill station, only to find out the wrong one was sent. I sent it back and now it sets on my desk waiting for parts that might actually make it work.

And before anyone who has stumbled upon this site begins to think I'm whining (I'm well aware "things could always be worse") let me say - whining here is the point. It's my place to vent. The option to leave comments is turned off so you don't even get a chance to "Tisk!" Tisk!"

In the meantime I received a very warm and positive e-mail from a former T2 player (he has since moved away). It was filled with, "Now I know why you did this!" and "Now I know why you said that!" and it went on to validate many of my business philosophies and direction for T-Square Paintball. If only it had ended there. In the middle of the e-mail he suggested a modification to his marker that would have turned it into a BOMB and he wanted to know what I thought.

Now, I know he's not a trained airsmith and doesn't really know better. And I really was flattered that he would entrust the question to me (Lord knows I appreciated the rest of his e-mail) but, poor guy, he was the lucky dumb question number 567, lottery winner of the week and my response was rather short and, well... mean and grumpy!

For that I apologize, Jessie!

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Late night rambling…

What kind of game would it be if Tiger Woods was given 600 tries to make a "hole in one" from every tee? How interesting would football be if we gave the quarterback 600 shots at completing a "Hail Mary" pass on the first down of every series? Who would want to watch a batter get 600 shots at hitting the ball over the fence each time at bat?

If a tennis racquet could be designed for Serena Williams that propelled the ball faster than the eye could follow should she be allowed to use it? If a cue stick were designed with a guidance system what effect do you think that would have on the game? And why do we stop boxers at one knock-out punch? Why not let him throw a couple extra just for good measure!

I apologize if my analogies read a bit obscure. It's late. You either get it, or you don't care!

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Yes, I’m still here…

A couple of weeks back I spent a bunch of money to fly to a "Paintball Field and Store Owners Conference". It sucked... the flight and the conference. At risk of sounding arrogant, I'd heard all the grumbling before - the high price of paint, the high price of field insurance, the ignorance of local, state and federal governments trying to enforce the sport of paintball out of business!

The worst of all, I suppose, was the vendors, all hawking products they were sure would make us lots of money while I saw nothing there that was actually aimed at promoting paintball as a fun, safe, family activity.

Just not a very inspiring trip, while back home a player smacked his head on the door of the fort on the Fort Field and scared the bejeezus out of everyone by bleeding like he ripped open a carotid! Scalp wounds bleed like crazy.

Followed by a similar head wound the very next week!

Half a dozen stitches total in one week's time where we had none in eight years! I consider accidents as situations that bear investigation and action but for the life of me I can't figure how either accident could have been avoided unless I start making players wear a full helmet!

Followed this weekend by 99 happy players and one that thought it was necessary to cuss out my daughter over a mistake that was made (and caught, and corrected) by a new employee at the check-out register.

There's not enough therapy in the world that can explain why I let one foul mouthed teenager ruin my mood rather than bask in the accomplishment of bringing a bit of fun into the lives of 99 others!

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Funny stuff…

If you know paintball and like a good laugh and are not checking out "The White Board" you are missing out on some good stuff. Click on the link (on the right) and treat yourself to a chuckle or two.

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