Paintball characters…

As cranky and as grumpy as I may get at times it's actually true that not many people really tick me off. There are a few types. Fortunately just a few. Dads that hog the field during an eleven year old birthday party bug me but don't really tick me off. Having to tell someone more than twice to keep their mask on will irritate me and hearing a wannabe pro player explain something to a newby that is totally wrong frustrates me. But none of these examples tick me off.

One that really, really, really does TICK me off is someone I'll call BMOF.

The BMOF or "Big Man On the Field" is the guy who calls to reserve a group and stops by the pro-shop a few days ahead wanting to buy the biggest and baddest paintball marker ever made - money is no object.

Makes me wonder what kind of party host he is. "Here. You guys eat hotdogs while I munch on this lobster.

"Imagine getting invited to his house for an ass kicking contest. "You guys get to wear sneakers and have your legs tied together. Never mind my steel toed boots."

Or going over for a friendly game of cards. "You can play but you better not beat me and my stacked deck."

What level of rudeness and arrogance do you have to reach before you are considered a jerk?

The usual justification for needing a "bigger" and "badder" gun goes something like, "I'm the boss. They will all be shooting at me."

Hmmmm... is it JUST because you're the boss?

BMOF's can be fun. They usually expect to be treated different. I go out of my way to treat them the same. I especially enjoy when they show up at the field with a $1200 tournament gun and ask me how to turn it on. I tell them I have no idea and hand them a rental.