Chit chat…

I've noticed an odd trend lately. Not just over the past couple of days or weeks, but for the past couple of months.

The phone will ring here at the shop and I'll pick it up and while I'm going through my usually greeting - "Good Afternoon. T-Square Paintball" - quite often there will be chatter on the other end of the line.

A Mom talking with her Son or a Son talking to Dad or a Dad talking to a co-worker. Sometimes it's rather revealing;

"...and will you sit down and shut up and I'll ask him."

or

"I'm playing today. I don't care what you say because..."

or

"...yeah and did you see the size of her..."

and it's always annoying.

One of my "favorites" is the committee call. That's when a group of kids elect one kid to make the call and before I can even get my greeting out I hear them arguing over what question to ask first.

Maybe it's just me. When I make a call I'm listening to make sure I dialed the right number.

Happy New Year to one and all!

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ummmm......

Message on my answering machine this morning:

"Hello? Your machine says the field is not open today. I have 8 little boys that want to play. We will be there around 1:00. Call 962-xxxx if there are any questions! Thanks!"

Questions? Me?

Merry Christmas, all. And Happy Holidays, too!

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Who would have guessed...

I've been picked as Time Magazines "Person of The Year". How cool is that?

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PLEASE NOTE…

Folks. I am NOT responsible for the directions given to T-Square Paintball by "Mapquest" or "Tom-Tom" or "Garmin" or any other online map service or GPS unit. They are confusing, misleading and most times wrong. If the "Directions" link on our web page doesn't help then please call.

And if you do call, please don't argue with my directions. If you say, "...but "Mapquest" or "Tom-Tom" or "Garmin" says we should take this exit and go down this road and take this street" my response will most likely be, "And you called me why?"

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Paintball characters…

As cranky and as grumpy as I may get at times it's actually true that not many people really tick me off. There are a few types. Fortunately just a few. Dads that hog the field during an eleven year old birthday party bug me but don't really tick me off. Having to tell someone more than twice to keep their mask on will irritate me and hearing a wannabe pro player explain something to a newby that is totally wrong frustrates me. But none of these examples tick me off.

One that really, really, really does TICK me off is someone I'll call BMOF.

The BMOF or "Big Man On the Field" is the guy who calls to reserve a group and stops by the pro-shop a few days ahead wanting to buy the biggest and baddest paintball marker ever made - money is no object.

Makes me wonder what kind of party host he is. "Here. You guys eat hotdogs while I munch on this lobster.

"Imagine getting invited to his house for an ass kicking contest. "You guys get to wear sneakers and have your legs tied together. Never mind my steel toed boots."

Or going over for a friendly game of cards. "You can play but you better not beat me and my stacked deck."

What level of rudeness and arrogance do you have to reach before you are considered a jerk?

The usual justification for needing a "bigger" and "badder" gun goes something like, "I'm the boss. They will all be shooting at me."

Hmmmm... is it JUST because you're the boss?

BMOF's can be fun. They usually expect to be treated different. I go out of my way to treat them the same. I especially enjoy when they show up at the field with a $1200 tournament gun and ask me how to turn it on. I tell them I have no idea and hand them a rental.

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All in a day…

Every now and then a customer will exit the Pro-Shop leaving me and my store manager staring at each other with our mouths open."

"He wanted us to do WHAT to his gun!"

"Did she seriously want to make field reservations for a group of pre-schoolers?"

"Did he really say that?"

It happens two or three times a week.

This time, it left us with some suprise.

A man came in looking for upgrades and maybe a gun for his friend. He and a group play backyard ball. During his look around he related a number of backyard stories that included bruises, shots to the neck, paint chips going through a mask cutting his girlfriend's lip and other typical tales of paintball mayhem and destruction that always sound a little short of safety when coming from a backyard point of view.

Usually it's me that asks but because of some high blood pressure issues I've really been trying to step away from the Pulpit of Perpetual Paintball Preaching and fore go the usual, "How fast are you guys shooting?"

The question with it's usual, "I dunno" response is a set up that leads to my chastising the player for playing hot and then explaining the importance of a chronograph - even in backyards.

Stephanie beat me to it (probably to cut me off so she could give her toned down version of my sermon) and asked the question herself.

His response caught us totally off guard. "We have a chronograph and set our markers at 280 feet per second."

Our blank stare and sudden silence must have uneased him. "That's okay, right? 280 feet per second?"

"Ummm...OH. Yeah. That's good," I managed to say.

When he left Stephanie and I just looked at each other and shrugged our shoulders.

"That's a first," I told her."

"Yeah. No kidding! Backyard players with a chronograph!"

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