Saturday Paintball Reruns...

From February 5, 2005

The original "Mean and Grumpy" post!

me??

bah! humbug!

i do need a vacation. i've been a bit short tempered lately. with success comes more - more good, more bad, more stress, more fun.

let me tell you what makes me mean and grumpy.

i won't sell crap in my pro-shop. there is enough inferior, not worth the price of the plastic, paintball junk out there already. i sell equipment that i spend money and time on testing. when someone comes in my shop cussing at a marker i sold them that has been abused, misused, trashed out with cheap paint or doesn't work because "their friend lost some parts" i get mean and grumpy.

people getting ripped off on the internet (EBay!!!) makes me mean and grumpy. the dilemma... do i get mean and grumpy with the person who let themselves get ripped off or do i get mean and grumpy with the faceless seller behind the computer screen? usually i get mean and grumpy with myself (and take it out on my daughter behind the counter). i blame myself for not being able to convince everyone that "the buyer should beware"!

people who shoot their gun plug across my safe zone and say the marker "went off by accident" will make me mean and grumpy. A PAINTBALL MARKER (AS WELL AS FIREARMS) CAN NOT GO OFF BY ACCIDENT. PERIOD! oh? what's that you say? the trigger is set so close on your high tech electro paintblender that it goes off if you breath on it??? well then it didn't go off by accident. it went off because you set the trigger so close it goes off if you breath on it!!

same goes for when my refs get hit "by accident". YOU CAN'T HIT ANYTHING BY ACCIDENT. paintballs come out of the marker and go in the direction that the barrel is pointed. if you hit a ref it was because you had your barrel pointed at the ref. and, of course, as we covered earlier, markers can not go off by accident! hitting my refs always makes me mean and grumpy.

people who turn their marker on it's side while shooting, or shoot while running and bouncing, or try to get 15 balls a second out of their rental (or 30 balls a second out of their electro-blender) or who don't consider that it's pouring rain or 30 degrees outside, AND THEN COMPLAIN THAT I HAVE CRAPPY PAINT make me mean and grumpy. and hey, does anyone know what a spit ball is??? once you do break a ball it's not the marker's fault or the paint's fault for balls flying in circles. it's your dumb lack of luck! ask a ref to clean your barrel!!

same goes for players that dive into a bunker, doing a couple of flips before they crash HOPPER FIRST into the dirt! saying your paint broke in the hopper BECAUSE IT'S CRAPPY will make me mean and grumpy. oh yeah, and trying to shoot my field paint through your $150 tight assed tournament barrel??? duhhhhhhhh! crappy paint???

four or five players complaining because i stopped a game when they only have one opponent left, people wanting to play tournament level play on my rec-ball field, one of my young players coming off the field with 6 hits stitched up his back, a Dad playing with a bunch of 10 year olds who has to capture the flag himself every game, walmart guns that players expect me to fix RIGHT NOW!, that dumb look i get when i ask someone if they know how to chronograph their marker, 2 or 3 in a group of walk-ons who ONLY WANT TO PLAY SPEEDBALL or who ONLY WANT TO PLAY IN THE WOODS, the player that gets hit, stands straight up, and then cusses at other players for hitting him again... yeah baby... these are things that will make me get real mean and grumpy.

so by now are you asking yourself, "why in the heck doesn't this mean, grumpy old man get out of the business."? (by the way, i'm just getting warmed up!)

i can tell you why.

when Dad (or Mom) comes to me at the end of the day with a kid grinning from ear to ear and says they had the best time ever all the other stuff disappears. corny, but true. paintball is fun.

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