Hey, kids...

If you want a job don't have your Mom call to ask if I'm hiring.

If you lost your cell phone or think you left something out here don't have your Mom call looking for it.

If you need a do-hickey, thing-a-ma-bob for a gun and you don't even know what model it is don't have your Mom call asking for it.

And if you need directions don't call. Hand the phone to who ever you are going to hand it to anyway after I run through the entire set of directions, twice.

Thank you.