Yet again I'm stuck for a paintball funny. Yesterday's post might have made a good funny except for it being so truly sad. Maybe its the lousy weather. Maybe it's the larger than normal moon. Somebody want to bail me out here?
Read more...From December 22, 2008
Hey! It's "Open Mike Friday!" Drop a NON PAINTBALL comment on anything that might be on your mind. Keep it G or PG rated and work place friendly. I have a sharp censor pencil so don't expect anything else to get through.
From KEE Action Sports:
"Want to work in the paintball industry? Have a knack for tinkering, working on paintball guns and fixing hoppers? Well today may be your lucky day. Our friends over at KEE Action Sports let us know that they are looking for a tech support specialist to assist them in analyzing and repairing and refurbishing KEE paintball products."
Read more here at ProPaintball.com
>Over at Reiner's paintball blog.
From November 25, 2008
Hey! It's "Open Mike Friday!" Drop a NON PAINTBALL comment on anything that might be on your mind. Keep it G or PG rated and work place friendly. I have a sharp censor pencil so don't expect anything else to get through.
Top Ten cities that Google paintball (2009):
1. Orlando, FL, USA
2. Miami, FL, USA
3. Toronto, Canada
4. Montreal, Canada
5. Phoenix, AZ, USA
6. Los Angeles, CA, USA
7. Irvine, CA, USA
8. Chicago, IL, USA
9. Houston, TX, USA
10. Atlanta, GA, USA
Actually, neither of these two is the first thing I think of. But that's just me!
Thought it might be something important!
Apple emails "paintball" invites to Jan 27 event
Tournament Paintball in Heaven?
Two buddies Bob and Earl were two of the biggest tournament paintball players in America.
Their entire lives, Bob and Earl discussed paintball history in the winter, and they pored over every NPPL and PSP score during the season. They played in as many tournaments as they could. They even agreed that whoever died first would try to come back and tell the other if there was tournament paintball in heaven.
One summer night, Bob passed away in his sleep after a particularly grueling tournament. He died happy. A few nights later, his buddy Earl awoke to the sound of Bob's voice from beyond.
"Bob, Is that you?" Earl asked.
"Of course it's me," Bob replied.
"This is unbelievable!" Earl exclaimed. "So tell me, is there tournament paintball in heaven?"
"Well, I have some good news and some bad news for you. Which do you want to hear first?"
"Tell me the good news first."
"Well, the good news is that yes there is tournament paintball in heaven, Earl."
"Oh, that is wonderful! So what could possibly be the bad news?"
"You're playing the snake tomorrow."
From March 8, 2009
The economic doom and gloom people are starting to get on my nerves. Still, times are tough and many of us are having to cut back on certain things. I eat out a little less and don't go to the river to fish near as much. Premium TV channels are not as important anymore. Nor is call waiting on the phone.Hey! It's "Open Mike Friday!" Drop a NON PAINTBALL comment on anything that might be on your mind. Keep it G or PG rated and work place friendly. I have a sharp censor pencil so don't expect anything else to get through.
Here's a brief guide to Ebay paintball shopping:
If it's a CO2 tank it will be out of inspection date
If it's an HPA tank it will be out of inspection date.
If it's a stack tube blow back marker it will have a bad hammer oring and/or leak from the barrel.
If it's an electronic marker it will only shoot on days that contain the letter "U", ie: Tuesday, Thursday, etc.
If it says "New" it will have a few scratches.
If it says "Used" it will have at least one broken part (not necessarily a critical part).
If the listing says "I don't know anything about paintball guns" or the variation "I don't have air to test this gun but it cocks fine" expect the marker to be DOA.
The phrase "Mad ups!" means the marker comes with a bunch of useless modifications that do nothing but raise the common sense price of the marker 3 fold. (Possibly bonus - Stripping and selling the mad ups separately will often pay for the entire stock marker.)
PSP has finally decided to ban clothing and equipment that is the same color as the paint being used (yellow). How long did that take?
Read more...Though I doubt I would ever approve of a leather chick wearing a nazi hat representing my field or big game I don't mind passing along this enlightening interview from the The Cat Shack. Take a peak inside the mind of a scenario player. (See what I did there? I didn't write scenario paintball player!)
Read more...From September 25, 2008
Scientists believe it was just over 13 billion years ago that our creator kick started us toward what we are today. It all started in a total void. I'm talking total here folks. Nothing, nada, zip. Time didn't exist. Not even a warped Twilight Zone version. There was no light but it wasn't dark. Dark is the result of an absent of light but in this particular area of nothing there was no light to declare absent. Which is not to say it was bright white since white is an absent of color, non of which existed there, either.Hey! It's "Open Mike Friday!" Drop a NON PAINTBALL comment on anything that might be on your mind. Keep it G or PG rated and work place friendly. I have a sharp censor pencil so don't expect anything else to get through.
Loyalhanna, PA – January 6, 2009 – Paintball manufacturer Smart Parts, Inc. is temporarily shutting down all manufacturing and sales operations in order to facilitate a corporate restructuring. During this time, the company will not be able accept or process orders, ship or receive products or perform repairs. The restructuring process is expected to be completed by the end of January 2010.
“It is important that people do not send equipment in for service during this time,” said company Vice President, Adam Gardner. “Our buildings will not be staffed during the restructuring, so there will be no one there to receive packages. They will automatically be refused and returned to the sender.
“To the players, field owners and store owners, please know that we appreciate your support and are looking forward to a fresh start for the 2010 paintball season. We apologize for any inconvenience this short closure may cause, and hope to make it up to you in the future.”
Smart Parts, Inc., is a leading developer and manufacturer of equipment and accessories for the sport of paintball. For more information, visit www.SmartParts.com.
one year at World Cup and rushed home to try and make my own. I have no talent or tools for metal work so I tried to make one out of wood with no success.
I'm not much for New Year resolutions. I figure if you are going to resolve to do something and resolve to wait until the first of the new year you have already shown a lack of resolve. If something needs to be done - quit smoking, save money, lose weight, what ever - get 'er done! Don't wait for some future point on a calendar for motivation.
Upon his demise, a notorious tournament paintballer known for his rule bending found himself standing at the gates of the underworld. Inside he found a dozen other players standing in a knee deep, putrid mix of stale beer, broken paintballs and cigarette butts. It didn't seem very pleasant but he did notice they were all smoking and joking, drinking Red Bull and generally having a good time.
"Hmmm," he thought to himself. "All the times I wiped and was shooting hot - this doesn't seem like a bad exchange for all the tournaments I won."
About that time he heard a voice boom from the back of the room. "ALL RIGHT MEAT HEADS! Breaks over. Back on your heads!
From October 29, 2008
It's that time of year again. Top ten lists. The Best of 2009. The year in review. How can I resist? Here's some odd and end stats from the past year:
Most left here and went to: www.shootinghotmagazine.com/ (Say "thank you," Dale!)
Most of you stayed less than 5 seconds: Meah!
Somehow someone found us by googling:
"Ricky Navar" AND El Paso
paintball suicide vest
and square paintball pods
And 69 percent visited and never came back!
Have a great New Year!
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